May 03 2009
What RELENTLESS Looks Like (pt. 1)
I want to tell you a story about what happened to me last night. I know a lot of the stuff I write on here about God’s Word and believing it and living it might seem like “a lot to ask for” to some people. “Do you mean we’re actually supposed to live like that?” you might think. But I can honestly say that about 99% of what I write on here comes from my own life. And unless I can live it in my own life, I don’t think I have any business telling you to.
Normally, when I fall asleep at night, I don’t wake up again until the next morning. I’m a sound sleeper. But last night, I woke up at 3:00am and felt like my head was spinning. It was a miserable feeling. It felt like my head was a merry-go-round spinning out of control. I sat up in my bed and the spinning stopped. But I felt sick. Like last night’s dinner was about to leap out of my stomach (sorry, that wasn’t a good image to paint, was it?). I tried to lay back down. I’m tired. And besides that, I don’t get sick. I’m healed by the stripes of Jesus, I thought. But the minute my head hit my pillow, my head started spinning again. I shot back up in my bed. And this is where the fun part begins.
Even a few months ago, I would have laid there in bed trying to think up what exactly could be wrong with me. I’d dissect my symptoms. I’d feel sorry for myself. I’d go sit in the bathroom and wait until I got sick. But not last night. I wasn’t having it. For a lot of years, I knew God’s Word but didn’t live it. But that just doesn’t cut it for me anymore. I’m sick of going around the same mountain. I’m tired of falling into satan’s traps and staying there for months. So instead of thinking up a name for my symptoms (flu, stomach virus, etc.), I called it for what it really is — satan. This sure wasn’t God waking me up with physical torment in the middle of the night. I leaned over and turned on the lamp next to my bed. I stumbled across my floor and searched for my sword (some healing scriptures I have). And I muttered underneath my breath: You think you can wake me up in the middle of the night and make me feel this way and get away with it? Well think again, satan! You’re going down! And I meant it.
I read those scriptures. I shouted them under my breath. I meant business. I was so tired that my eyes kept trying to shut on me, but I’d open them back up. And by the time I finished those scriptures, I no longer felt sick to my stomach. I laid back down. The dizziness was still there. I sat back up and read some more. I laid back down again. I noticed that if I slept on my back, I wasn’t dizzy. But if I slept on either of my sides, like I normally do, or even turned my head to one side, it’d start spinning again. My goodness. The stupid symptoms the devil throws at us! They don’t even make sense! They’re just annoying as anything. I was so exhausted that I was fine with laying on my back and I turned off my light and fell asleep. But about three hours later, I woke up when my head turned to the side and started spinning again. And with three more hours of sleep under my belt, I was even more feisty. I was also tired of laying on my back. I turned my head to the side and, when it started spinning, I dug my heels in and, in so many words, said: “NO MORE!” The spinning stopped. The spinning stopped!! I turned and laid on my other side and felt that darn spinning again, so I did the same. I commanded it to stop! Enough is enough already. Because I had read God’s Word earlier, I knew my authority. And it wasn’t my words satan responded to — it was me acting in my authority.
I woke up feeling rested. The spinning was gone. But the fact that satan had tried to get at me like that still ticked me off. So while I was in the shower, I remembered the scripture that says, The enemy will come at you in one way but flee before you in seven ways (Deuteronomy 28:7). And so I started making up a mental list of seven things I’d like back. Wasn’t it enough that the dizziness and sick-feeling was gone? No. Not for me. Not anymore. Not after 22 years of satan robbing from me.
To be continued…
You are amazing.
And I have a LOT to learn from you.
That’s all I can say.
Gabi’s last blog post..this is who I am.