Feb 14 2009
Finding My Voice
Mouth open and panting,
I wanted Your commands more than anything.
Turn my way, look kindly on me,
as You always do to those who personally love You.
Steady my steps with Your Word of promise
so nothing malign gets the better of me.
Rescue me from the grip of bad men and women
so I can live life Your way.
Smile on me, Your servant;
teach me the right way to live.
I cry rivers of tears
because nobody’s living by Your Book!
You are right and You do right, GOD;
Your decisions are right on target.
You rightly instruct us in how to live
ever faithful to You. –Psalm 119:129-139 (The Message)
Psalm 119 rivets me. Yesterday, in desperate need to hear God, I scoured His Word and found my voice in Psalm 119. I read it and re-read it in my beat-up, old metal NLT Bible that I know and love. Then I found my NKJV Study Bible and read it again. Then, for kicks, I pulled out The Message version that I bought on-sale several years back and read it in there. Now, normally, I don’t read much of The Message version. While I think it’s a great version to get a general overview of stories in the Bible, it’s my least favorite for studying. Nevertheless, once I read Psalm 119 in there, I was captivated. Tears filled my eyes as I discovered the deep cries of my heart translated into words on a page.
Do you ever feel that way? Like you have such deep, aching cries piercing your heart… but you can’t put words to them? And then you read something — a verse, a passage in a book, a poem — and you just want to jump through the roof because that passage you read gave words to the wordless cries of your heart? That’s what Psalm 119 did for me. I couldn’t even trust myself to take a highlighter to it. If I did, I would have, no doubt, highlighted the entire thing. I have a habit of doing that. When I read When Heaven Invades Earth by Bill Johnson for the first time, I highlighted nearly the entire book. When I lent it to a friend at work, I bordered between laughter and tears when she opened it up in front of me and saw every sentence on two whole pages highlighted in different colors. “Uh…. sorry,” I muttered. “Got a little carried away with the highlighter.” A little? 
I feel God’s called me to work for a secular business. And even though, in the natural, it doesn’t seem to tie into what He’s called me to do, I’m excited. I read stories of David and Daniel and Joseph — people God raised up into the high places of worldly systems, and my heart ignites. I read and study their strict devotion to God while working for worldly, ungodly masters and something in me sparks fire. Something in me longs to know the kind of loyalty Daniel had towards such a horrible, morally corrupt ruler, while still maintaining supreme loyalty towards God. I want to work hard serving people I don’t agree with. I want to love people that don’t know the Author of Love. I want to be raised up strategically into high places. I want a worldly business that would otherwise not be blessed to be blessed simply because a child of the King is there, displaying the character and nature of God, interceding on their behalf.
LORD, open the right door for me. I don’t want something easy. Strategically place me exactly where You want me.
Man that is your Psalm! Wowee wow!
”Do you ever feel that way? Like you have such deep, aching cries piercing your heart… but you can’t put words to them? And then you read something — a verse, a passage in a book, a poem — and you just want to jump through the roof because that passage you read gave words to the wordless cries of your heart?”…YES. Often I find my voice in music, but mostly it’s in His Word( which is where I’m running as soon as I’ve pressed’’submit comment”
)
I think precisely because you have that kind of heart, that He is going to use that specifically. I think He gave you those desires because He intends to fulfil them. Whether they seem like a new part of your heart, or whether they you have carried those longings for a long time…they are there now and they are there for a purpose which only He knows. I hope that makes some sense. I’m so honoured to have a best friend who goes where there is no path and blazes a new way with His love.
gabi’s last blog post..hostage
His Word is a Lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I do love the word of God. There’s a book I’m reading called “Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes” and the words on the page opens up the way I should’ve always read God’s word and the “Message” can be that for me too sometimes…although I agree, I don’t use it for study. Anyway, Daniel submitted to his authorities (Read Romans 12), and in that he served his God.
Also I think Gabi is using a Prophetic voice.
He is, love.
He is.